Why I’m hibernating…and fine with it.

Photo Credit: Jethro Taylor via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jethro Taylor via Compfight cc

I’m not that much fun to be friends with at the moment, I’ll admit it. I’m rarely saying yes to invitations, and when I do I am the first to head home. I’m not initiating anything, and I’ve all but stopped going out mid-week. Mondays are set aside for cooking, Tuesdays + Thursdays + Saturday mornings are for crossfit, and Wednesdays I’ve been trying to work on my novel. That’s not to say I am not missing everyone like crazy. And of course, I am still making time for my nearest and dearest. I’m just not being a party animal. There are several reasons for this, and while I initially experienced a great deal of FOMO and anxiety that no one would be there for me when I was ready to re-join the land of the living, I have gotten past that now and made peace with my hibernation.

So, why am I playing the hermit crab? Five good reasons:

1. I want to concentrate on my nutrition. Since cutting out all grains and really shaking up my eating habits about 8 weeks ago, so many great things have happened. The keratosis pilaris that I have always suffered on my upper arms is just gone. Gone. I can’t even describe how happy that makes me. My skin in general feels softer and just…in better condition. My tummy is rarely angry or inflamed, when that was essentially a way of life for me before. I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt so healthy! And although the scales say nothing has changed, I know that my body shape has. This is also due to exercise, but you can work out all day and if you eat shit nothing is going to happen. So I really want to keep cooking for myself and only eating food I eat. I want to get a good repertoire up and then just spend one night per week cooking for the whole week ahead.  This means it’s harder to join in on dinners out. And anyone who cooks for me can expect explicit instructions and a thousand insane questions (sorry Fais!). But it’s something I need to do. Something I want to do.

2. I want to concentrate on exercise. I love crossfit. I don’t think that’s a secret. What’s also not a secret is that I am shit at it (“Kelly”, I am looking at you, bitch). (PS that’s the name of a workout, not a person.)  But no matter how bad I am, or that I can only squat and dead-lift about a third of the weight that some of the other girls can, I simply love the feeling that the workouts give me. It’s not only physical but mental achievement. And this is something new to me. I have never before liked exercise. And I want to set aside my three times per week for it, with the devotion of a church-goer. So those nights too, I am unavailable. I am hibernating. And it’s something else I really want to do.

3. I want to save money. I’ll be honest. I am already totally over not spending. I hate my wardrobe. It’s coming into winter and I only have two jumpers. I might need to buy an item or two just so I have a full week’s worth of things for the office. I’ve done everything I can think of – sectioned it off into little capsule wardrobes that I rotate amongst, combined pieces I have never tried together before, tried to find any clothing swaps going on (none). I desperately wish I could just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. But what I really want is to just pay off my debts already and be square. And the harder I hibernate, the quicker that will happen. So I am doing alternative things, like inviting friends to my place and cooking for them. Or meeting people after dinner if I go out at all. And trying to limit the amount of drinks I have when I am out. And trying my hardest to stay off the shopping websites. I think one trick I will try is getting some nice lipstick. I never wear lipstick but it makes people look really dressed up and as though they have made an effort. It might draw attention away from the fact that I am basically wearing the same black skirt each day…

4. I want to cut back on alcohol. Not cut it out. Never, ever cut it out. But just not drink so mindlessly. Not have so many nights where I can’t pull myself together for work, or where I waste a whole Sunday in bed recovering. Because I am shit at not having hangovers. I have already become much better at this. I haven’t really had a big night out in a long time. And I do want one, I will be back. But winter is a great time for me to be doing this. It’s dark early, the beergardens are closed, it will soon be holiday season and most of my ex-pat friends will fly home. So it’s a good time to be limiting my alcohol intake. Temporarily.

5. I want to finish this novel. I have had this idea in my head for about five years. And I just want to get a draft out. I know it will be terrible, I am prepared for that. But it’s the thing I want most in this life – to complete a book. To write. I mean, I do it all day at work, but to write something I would want to read. And it takes time. And it’s really hard. I’m currently on around 16,ooo words. I plan to spend most of tomorrow getting that up to 25,ooo. And then I am back on track to finish Nanowrimo by November 30. Of course, I realise that by “finish” I mean have the world’s roughest first draft. But at least it will be something I can edit. And at least I will be taking steps all the time towards my dream.

So that’s why I’m feeling ok with the fact that I am spending a little more time than usual alone. Why I am ok with saying no a bit more often. Come 2015, I cannot wait to launch and best version of me there is. To get back out and enjoy socialising a little more. But in the meantime, I’m working on my goals.

Advertisements

About colonizethemoon

36 years old. Reformed smoker. Unreformed drinker. Antisocial neighbour. Sometime shower-singer. Speaker of appalling German. On a quest to become a grown up. In all the good ways and none of the bad. Originally from Sydney (via Wales, Spain, and Newcastle, NSW) now living and working in god's country - aka Munich, Germany.

Posted on November 15, 2014, in Game on, Goal-setting, My Purse is Closed and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. It sounds like you’ve got your priorities and are sticking to them. Fantastic work. I think you are doing lots of great things and I am a little envious (the exercise and writing thing especially)
    Keep up the good work.

    Like

    • Oh thanks so much Anthony! The exact kind of encouragement I need. 🙂

      Like

      • I am happy to encourage… especially since I think you are doing all the right things for all the right reasons.

        Oh, and I got a great clip for you of a small, but functional apartment (start around the 16 and a half minute mark;

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh Wow!! I love the round windows, it looks so cool. I wonder if those people get a little claustrophobic though. I think I might. But the idea is awesome, and it looks so cool! Thanks for sharing it with me!

        Like

      • You are welcome. I agree that it seems a little claustrophobic to me… but maybe you get used to it.

        The program, called Tokyo Eye, is one of my favourites on Japan. Check it out when you have a chance… they did one episode on where to eat if you have dietary restrictions.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll definitely check it out. Japan always seems so cool to me. I really want to get there. Can’t believe I used to live in Korea and never made it across!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, that is too bad. Probably the cost differences would have made you blanch though. I know several people who taught in Korea and they told me how much cheaper things were.
        One of my Friends, his name is Nelson and now he lives in Munster, was sent to Japan to get his Visa and his school only gave him 80 dollars to get the visa, eat and stay over. Needless to say, he had to sit in a coffee shop all night and wait for his flight home.

        Where you teaching in Korea?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Korea was a really good deal for the money we got paid. My then-boyfriend and I taught for a year right down south in Pusan. I made it to Jeju Island once, and Seoul once. But our contracts stipulated we couldn’t have holidays until the end of the contract, and by then I think I just wanted to get home. 80 as a per diem for a trip to Japan!! That’s criminal!

        Like

  2. Hibernating for all of those reasons you’ve listed is awesome. Keep up the good work you’re doing. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are so focused! I have no doubt you will succeed at everything you’re setting your mind to. Your novel, being debt free, reducing your alcohol consumption, exercising and eating healthy as a new way of life. You’re blitzing it!

    I get so easily distracted from my goals!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it takes about 8 weeks to make something a habit. You are there (or close). Most folks give up sooner. I used to be able to have intense willpower but the older I get and the busier I seem with my business, the less willpower there is. What diet are you on? My digestion is shall we say ~ off, at best 😉 I’m sure stress causes tons of gastro problems but I’m to the point of trying about everything including never having a slice of bread again. As always ~ You are my fave long distance girl friend and I send a cyber hug of encouragement. BTW, I agree – cutting down on the spirits is a good thing but to go teetotaler – never – perish the thought 😉

    PS.If you want some feedback on that rough draft novel – send it along. They’re all rough drafts at first! Kurt Vonnegut said “When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.” Kurt Friggin’ Vonnegut still felt it an incompressible task to write. You go girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I will take you up on the novel feedback – thanks!! Just need to get the thing written first… :/ It’s coming along slowly. I’m not giving up even though a lot of what I am writing is crap! 🙂
      The diet I am trying is 100% paleo. Before, I had to cut out a lot of grains anyway because of the coeliac. But now I am eating only red and white meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, nuts and oils. I have a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal, and I’ve tried to incorporate more raw and fermented foods. It means a LOT of prep work in the kitchen each week, but I can’t even describe the difference I feel. I am not sure this diet is for everyone, but my body feels like it’s running at its best right now, so there is no going back for me!! 🙂
      Also, coincidentally, I am reading Cat’s Cradle right now! 😀

      Like

  5. You’re acing it sis!! So happy to hear you finally like exercising 🙂 But WHY did you have to take up cooking after you’d done your visits to OZ hey? Kidding, all is fab in the new Siany world xox

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: