Breaking up…without retail therapy


Photo Credit: Geir Akselsen via Compfight cc
This is definitely not me.

They’re just shit, aren’t they? Breakups. I’m going through one now. It’s not fun, but I’ll get over it. It’s kind of the least interesting part of this story. When I’ve been through a breakup in the past, there has always been a sure-fire way to cheer myself up. Hit the shops. Buy something pretty. Some new makeup. Shoes. Jewellery. Something that makes me feel good about myself. Maybe get my hair did. Actually…I might still do that part. But I can’t do anything else. My hands are tied, and my purse is closed.

So now I have to look for other ways to get through it. And I found possibly the best three today.


I was booked in for a crossfit class this morning, but after having been out drinking with friends last night, and also having laid awake thinking everything over during the night, it was the absolute last thing I felt like doing. I tried to make a deal with myself that if I could stay home today and drink whiskey and eat junkfood and cry, then I’d get right back on the horse next week. Except I knew it was a lie. Once I get out of the swing, it’s really hard to get back into it. So I forced myself, literally used every single ounce of energy I had to wipe my nose, splash water on my face and get out the door.

The workout was really awful. Completely punishing. (You can skip straight to the next paragraph if you like.) We learned snatch pull-unders, which I seemed to need remedial instructions for. Then we did 3 sets of 8 ring dips, alternated with 16 kettle-bell rows. Then we started a whole new workout: 5 rounds of 3 overhead squats, 6 burpees, 9 toes-to-bar and 12 kettle-bell lunges. At the end I was completely fucked.

But I realised something.

My head was totally clear. I had not thought about anything but surviving the workout for a whole hour. I had complete clarity on the situation, I knew it was the right decision and that things will be better now. I left the box feeling like I could charm the world. Even though I totally stank and was dripping with sweat and my face was beet red.

I’m going to go to every single session – going to read this back to myself when I need the motivation to go.


Oh. My. God. I have the best friends (my baby sis is one of the greatest) in the whole world. They have come out of the woodwork to support me and book out my days and check in and see if I want to hang out and take me for drinks and send me little whatsapp messages that just contain the kissy-face guy. I freaking love that kissy-face guy. I am totally not alone, and knowing how wonderful these people are and that they love me is the best kind of balm. Lucky, lucky me.


My sister recommended I start some totally addictive, not-too-mentally-demanding TV series, to help me through any difficult hours. “Suits” is that show. Hot guys, funny banter, catchy story-lines and just the right amount of clever to keep me watching.

So this is what I am replacing retail therapy with. And I have to say, it’s even better.

But I’m still gonna get my hair did.

Got any other tips for me?


About colonizethemoon

36 years old. Reformed smoker. Unreformed drinker. Antisocial neighbour. Sometime shower-singer. Speaker of appalling German. On a quest to become a grown up. In all the good ways and none of the bad. Originally from Sydney (via Wales, Spain, and Newcastle, NSW) now living and working in god's country - aka Munich, Germany.

Posted on September 20, 2014, in Game on, My Purse is Closed and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. If I was there with you, I would give you a great big Shiny Tiny bear hug, pat your back, and tell you, you deserve better and you will be better!!! Sounds like you have a great team already lined up though. And ~ more stinky fish-men in the sea and all that bullocks (;>{x})~

    I’ve been quietly keeping an eye on you and watching your journey towards “less is more”. I have no idea WTH is important in life, but I do know whatever it is, it comes from the inside. You go girl!!!! In fact, go get your hair did, but end it there. Savor that budgetary discretion but don’t decide that you need a bunch of girly stuff to go with your new bouffant!

    This last bit is inappropriate but I lack social norms because frankly Scarlet. . . I was going to paraphrase a quote from Albert Camus’ “the Stranger”, but it’s not nice about ex’s and probably not appropriate for you right now. Let me know though when you are ready and I’ll pass it on – or read the book and learn about being REALLY depressed, HAHAHAH! You prob already read it though.

    You’ll trudge right on through this girlfriend. Sounds like someone has experienced a great loss. . . but it’s not you! XXX000XXX from the Tiny States!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh thank you. All bear hugs, even virtual ones are appreciated. I have nothing bad at all to say about him though, he’s a great guy. It just didn’t work out and that’s never anyone’s fault. I think depressing might not be the right thing for me to read right now, but I will definitely look at it once I’m back and fighting fit. Thanks so much for the pep talk, it really, really helps 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahh Damn it! Wish he was a jerk! It makes it all so much easier that way. 🙂
    I wanna see a pretty pic of your new “Did-Do-up”. Maybe go Ultra-Electric-Blue-Cropped-Bouffant? Hugs!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Seems like you’ve figured lots of stuff out, way to go. Draw strength from those who are willing and able to give it, and also harness the incredible strength within yourself–okay, now I sound like a bad self help book–except that it is probably true.
    I appreciate your powerful honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so excited for you that you’ve found more effective coping strategies for this stressful time! (sorry, that’s my inner crazy-chick-who-has-been-through-too-fucking-much-therapy talking) My only other advice for you is to do at least one thing that makes you feel totally capable and amazing every day. If you have a hobby that you have the supplies already on hand for then do that. If you’re a great cook then make a special dinner as often as you can. Anything to remind yourself of what an amazing lady you are – DO IT! :*

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh, I love this advice! I am trying to think of what that thing can be. I feel pretty capable when I write at work, and there’s a lot of writing coming up. Outside of work, I feel like I don’t really have any “hobbies” as such. I do crossfit and cook and read and socialise. I don’t think I would even be able to fit a hobby in! Maybe the cooking thing will work – I will find a special recipe and go to it on that! 😀 Thanks for the love! It makes me feel better.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. You sound like one amazing, strong woman. At times like these, the network of friends you have can do incredible healing just by being there. Virtual hugs and positive thoughts are coming your way. (Now I sound like an online horoscope, hahaha) Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Retired2Travel – makes it a lot easier when I have such great friends and family. I feel really positive at the moment, sleeping well, working out a lot and eating proper food. Feeling great, actually! 🙂 Thanks for your support!


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